


Trans Sam

by Jadeycakes99



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accidentally Supportive John, FTM Sam, Gen, Menstruation, Self-Harm, Supportive Dean, Trans Sam Winchester
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-06
Updated: 2014-08-07
Packaged: 2018-02-12 02:37:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2092467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jadeycakes99/pseuds/Jadeycakes99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Transgendered Sam is really a boy, no matter what his parts are, but he is growing up with a female body, and the older he gets, it gets harder to cope, luckily he has people in his life that will support him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Six Years Old

For as long as Samantha could remember, she was called Sam. Her father, who was hardly around, and her brother, who was her primary caretaker from ages eight to eighteen, hardly called her Samantha unless she was in trouble. She wanted to look like her brother when she got older, and that only got worse with age. While they were at Pastor Jim's on Sam's sixth birthday, he bought her a baby doll, and a sparkly play necklace. She thanked him meekly, and when she went to the room she shared with her older brother, she sobbed. Sam knew that she should be grateful, and last year, she had only gotten an army man from her big brother, that he he had decided he was too big for. She loved that army man though, until it got stuck in the car. Honestly, Sam would rather have gotten no presents, than for someone to see her as a girl and get her girl toys, and she changed from one of her pink Goodwill sweaters into one of Dean's flannels, admiring her reflection. The toys were under the bed and out of sight, and while seeing how much she looked like her older brother, she felt better already.  
"Sammy?" Dean called. He saw the bathroom door was ajar, so he poked his head through.  
"Why are you wearing one of my shirts Samantha?" He asked. Her face crumpled while remembering that he was actually a she, and she started to cry. "Hey, Sammy what's wrong?" Asked the too-old-for-his-age ten year old.  
"I'm not Samantha." She sobbed. Dean, knowing his father's line of work was very concerned by his little sister's confession. He wrapped his fingers around the knife in his too big jacket pocket.  
"I'm not a girl." He choked through sobs. "I'm a boy, just like you, and Daddy, and Pastor Jim, and Uncle Bobby." Dean didn't know what to do. He knew how to kill certain types of monsters, he could put a grown man on his back, but he didn't know how to handle this, all that registered was that his little sibling, the one he'd taken care of since he was four was extremely upset, so he went to his duffle bag, and pulled out a shirt that had fit him a couple years ago, that was probably still too big for, Sam, but a much better fit than the one that he was wearing. He walked back over to the bathroom, and pulled his shirt off of his little sister, and replaced it with the one he had found in his duffel bag, and buttoned it up. While he was doing this, Sam stopped crying, and opted to watch his big brother.  
"Here you go, it fits you better."  
"Thanks Dean." He sniffled.  
"No problem Sam. Happy birthday." He clasped his shoulder, and walked off, leaving Sam to admire his boyish reflection.


	2. Thirteen Years Old

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please do not attempt to use ace bandages for long term binding. It has brought to my attention that it is very dangerous, and this could possibly be construed as advice or a promotion to using ace bandages for long term binding, and it absolutely is not. I used it in my story, because that is probably what he would have available, and he isn't exactly up to date on trans culture and alternative binding methods.

At the age of thirteen, Sam was as miserable as ever, he was just beginning to hit puberty, and he hated it more than most teenagers. It was changing his body in ways that he didn't want it to be changed. One day, John was gone on a hunt, and Dean was flipping through channels, when he heard a shrill scream coming from the bathroom.  
"Sam!" He called out, when he didn't get a reply, he smashed the door open. He was confused when Sam appeared to be in no trouble, and there weren't any other creatures in the bathroom with him, but then he looked closer. There was blood on Sam's hand, and when he jumped up and shoved his pants back on because of Dean's entrance, there was blood on the toilet seat, and in the bowl.  
"Get out!" Sam screamed, and demanded, his face wet with tears, and his face full of fear and anguish.  
"Sammy..." Dean started, extremely uncomfortable, but sympathetic for his little sister, was interrupted with another shrill,  
"Get out!" Dean left the bathroom, and shut the door behind him. Sam didn't leave the bathroom for hours, by hour four Dean decided that moping time was over.  
"Sam? Come on, time to get out." He received no answer, so he sighed, "I can obviously break down the door, so we can do this the easy way or the hard way, when he was about to break the door down again, it opened slightly. Sam was a mess of tears, and he wouldn't look Dean in the eye.  
"You've had health class, right? The one where they only talk to the girls?" Sam glared at him in turn.  
"You know that you need," he cleared his throat in discomfort, "items?" Sam didn't answer him, just stared at the dried blood on his hand, which Dean noticed. "And you might want to," he cleared his throat again, "clean up."  
"I'm not a girl. I don't want to be a girl, but no matter how short I cut my hair, or how many plaid shirts I wear, or how much I help with hunting, or how many girls I flirt with, I'm just a girl." She sobbed. "I'm a girl, and this proves it, and I just want to die." She was barely audible though the sobs. "I want to die Dean, I can't be a girl." Dean's heart broke, this kid, who he had been taking care of, and keeping safe, just confessed that they wanted to die.  
"Don't you ever say that! I don't care if you are Sam, Sammy, Samantha, Victor freaking Victoria! I have been doing my damnedest to keep you safe since you were six months old, and you can't just say you want to die!"  
"I'm sick Dean. This isn't my body, and I just want it to go away." Dean was quiet for a moment.  
"Look at me." Sam get his eyes focused at his knees. "Look at me!" He shouted. Sam looked. "You are my little brother, and we are going to get through this. Okay?" Sam's sobbing quieted down, and he leaned against his older brother, and eventually he felt okay enough to take a shower, and when he was done, on the counter, he was greeted by feminine hygiene products. He looked on the box for instructions, and he resisted the urge to start crying again when he put the tampon in, and then he wrapped the Ace bandage around his chest, and put on the rest of his clothes, when he looked in the mirror, after he had cleaned up, he saw himself. Dean's comment about him being his little brother really helped, but in the mirror, he saw a girl, and while he had seen too much blood already that day, he pulled one of the razors that was in the bag his father had left, and dragged it up his arm, next to the other marks he had acquired while growing breasts. He was distracted, it felt better, he was a freak for other reasons. He stayed in there until it stopped bleeding, and rolled his sleeves down to go back into the main room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "ACE bandages are meant for restriction, so with every breath you take they tighten. Eventually, they can disfigure your lungs, chest, or even break your ribs. They're VERY dangerous to use for binding. If you plan on keeping that in the story, you REALLY need a note at the end telling people how dangerous it is. Its one of those stereotypes people think of for trans men but it's an incredibly harmful one."
> 
> \- somethingsalwayswrong


	3. Seventeen Years Old

At the age of seventeen, everyone called Sam, Sam. Most of the high schools he went to, no one ever questioned that he was a boy. When Dean registered him for school, the birth certificate he used said male, and he easily got out of gym class. His prom date, Jennifer, would never have guessed that her prom date had female genitalia.  
Sam was dressed in a suit, and John was bent over a very old book.  
"Where are you off to?" He asked curiously, when he finally noticed the rushing back and forth between bedroom and bathroom. Sam coughed uncomfortably.  
"Uh, prom." He said, not wanting to flood his father with details.  
"Who with?" Sam was surprised at his father's curiosity. John typically never bothered with things unless they directly impaired his ability to hunt, and had been put out with Sam lately because of all the arguing.  
"Her name is Jennifer, Sir." He said, keeping his voice controlled, he didn't want another fight to burst out right before prom.  
"Dean should have stayed and let you use the car." He said disapprovingly, which caught Sam off guard. John typically didn't care about school things "Have a good time, Son." John said, looking back to his book. Sam stared at him, extraordinarily happy, before John realized what he said.  
"I am so sorry Sam. It's just, your wearing a suit, and I must have been thinking about De..." He was cut off by a hug from Sam, which he surprised him. Sam usually led a tirade against him.  
"Thanks, Dad." He said, before walking out the door. John just stared after his son, and shrugged. To him, it was easier having two boys.  
That night went wonderfully, until his date drank a tad too much from the flask her friend was holding in her purse. When she came back from her third trip to the bathroom, she was stumbling.  
"Why hello there Sam." She said in a drunken attempt to be flirtatious. Sam smiled.  
"You okay there?" She put her hands up.  
"Perfect. How are you?" She asked stepping towards him, and falling. Sam caught her arms, and steadied her.  
"Woah there." He chuckled. "I'm fine." She fell into his arms, against his chest, and whispered into his ear.  
"Not as fine as you're going to be tonight." And she reached down to cup his dick, but was surprised at what she didn't find. He quickly jumped back. "What the hell?" She asked loudly.  
"Can we talk about it somewhere else?"  
"Where is your penis?" She asked, again too loudly, and her words were blending together in her drunken state. Other coupled turned around in questioning. She stumbled forward again, and Sam went to catch her again, and her hand flew grasped at the crotch of his pants again.  
"What the hell?" She asked even louder. Sam tried leading her out of the school gymnasium, but she smacked him with her purse.  
"Get away from me lesbo, and find a new ride." She stumbled away. People were staring at him now, so he ran away. He started running, and he didn't quite no where he was going. Two hours later, he found himself in a part of town that he didn't recognize. Luckily there was a pay phone, so he called the motel room, praying that Dean was back instead of John.  
"Hello?" Came the gruff, suspicious voice of John Winchester.  
"Dad?" He asked.  
"Sam? Are you okay? Where are you?"  
"Is, um, is Dean there?"  
"No, he's not back yet. Sam, where are you?" Sam looked around, and found the street name, and told his father.  
"Could you come get me?" He asked reluctantly. There was a pregnant pause.  
"Of course. I'll be right there." Sam sat on the curb, and waited for his dad's truck to appear. When it did, he stood up, and waved over.  
"Hey Sam." His son didn't say a word. Their entire ride home was silent. Sam got out, and went into the motel room, laid on the motel's couch. He was staring up at the ceiling. "What happened?" John demanded. The last time he had seen his son so upset was when he was thirteen, and neither of his children said anything, but he knew something happened. This time he needed to know.  
"She found out." Sam said in a monotone. He had taught himself not to cry a while ago. "Who found out what?" He asked confused.  
"She found out," Sam didn't know how to phrase it. He couldn't say she found out that he was a girl, because that would make him cry, and men don't cry. "She found out that I don't have a penis." He said bluntly. John was taken aback by this.  
"Why did she think that you," he cleared his throat, "had one?"  
"I'm a boy." He said, deciding to keep his answers simple and blunt.  
"Do you want to be a boy?" John asked, though he knew the answer. He had his suspicions, what with the short hair and buying clothes nearly identical to Dean's, but he had never bothered about it. It just wasn't important, in fact, it was easier with Dean being able to give him old clothes.  
"No." This answer took him by surprise. "I am a boy. I'm just," he took a deep steadying breath, "this isn't my body, and sometimes, like when waitresses call me sir, or Dean introduces me as his little brother, it's okay, but tonight..." He trailed off.  
"How about we go get some food, son?" He ruffled his hair, and Sam felt a little better. John was uncomfortable to how close they were getting to the realm of feelings, but he was glad for the first minute of closeness they had had since Sam turned thirteen, so they went to the diner, where John happened to know the waitress who worked the night shift happened to flirt with all of her young, handsome patrons.


End file.
